“Nobody said it was easy”

“No one ever said it would be this hard.” Do you ever hear song lyrics and suddenly feel like someone “gets you”? My husband was into music and really paid attention to lyrics. Since his death I’ve tried to be more intentional about listening to the message of a song rather than just singing along to a catchy tune.

The title of this post comes from a Coldplay song called “The Scientist” which is about regret and a longing to “go back to the start” to fix mistakes in a failed relationship. Experiencing the loss of a spouse, regardless of the manner of death, would probably make anyone feel regret… for things said or unsaid, for something you missed, or for something you wished you’d handled differently. I certainly have these feelings and often long for the early days of our relationship where we were filled with optimism and hope for our future together.

Listening to this song reminds me how grief invites us into regret and rewinding, but also how, with time, we learn that understanding doesn’t come from going back, but from facing what is our reality.